First off, sorry it took so long to get this up. A lot of life stuff has been going on (some of which will appear in a later blog), but just so you know, I plan to be a little more prompt with the entries in the future. More than once or twice a month for absolute sure. Thanks for being patient!
Okay, so before you leave the page disgusted, it’s not what you think.
Okay, so before you leave the page disgusted, it’s not what you think.
Okay, well maybe it is, but it’s not going to be
super gross, I promise. Just a little gross.
It’s more about nausea and how it makes you feel,
rather than the end product.
Well, proceed at your own discretion just in case
you have a weak stomach or constitution. In other words, if you’re a sympathy
puker, then you might want to skip this one, just in case.
And this isn’t to discourage people from having
kids, either. I just think you should know what you could possibly be signing
up for, that’s all. Everyone is different, so it may or may not happen to you.
I like to hear all the options, though; it’s just how I am.
So I left off with this form the last blog: Steve
said I should start a blog called: Here’s what’s wrong with me today from being
pregnant lol. Example for Week 11: I feel like an extra on the set of the Blob
and all the cats puked in sympathy for me while I was puking in the bathroom.
At least it doesn’t feel like superman kicked me in the crotch today.
Yup.
So when I first found out I was pregnant and after
the initial shock wore off, I looked back and thought about my current
symptoms.
REALLY tired (which could be mistaken for thyroid
meds being off)
Slight knot in my stomach when I woke up
Being REALLY hungry and wanting chips and salsa,
like, all the time
And my acne was hardcore awful the week before my
“period”. You know, the one that didn’t come. I’m talking instead of two three
pimples, it was like six or seven. And they were BIG.
Oh and let’s not forget the random heartburn. I
suspected something was amiss when I got heartburn while making spaghetti one
night, before I even had a single bite.
Hmmmm…
So I thought, well, if this is it as far as feeling
sick, it’s not so bad! I don’t know what everyone was talking about, all this
puking and needing Tums and stuff.
Go ahead. I will wait while you scoff, laugh or
shake your head and say, “Oh Foolish Kelly”. I’ll wait.
First, it was the Tums. Oh some mild heartburn,
that’s not so bad. Then, the knot in my stomach became more persistent and
stayed around longer throughout the day. No problem, I’ll eat some saltines.
Except I went through a whole sleeve within a
week o.O
Uh-oh. Okay, so I am sick of eating Tums and
Saltines, big whip, there must be something else I can eat right?
Google search replies: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. It’s
different for EVERYONE MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Um, okay.
And then, I finally puked.
I figured I just hit the back of my throat with my
toothbrush; that does happen from time to time, no big.
And then it happened again. And again. Right before
we moved, too.
DAMMIT I don’t have time for this shit right now! I
need to pack. And then it switched from morning to night, or
basically after anytime that I ate.
FOOD FAIL and WHHHYYY Are you trying to kill me
baaaaaaaaaaaaaabyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy???????
That is what it felt like.
And this is what I looked like, as described on my
Facebook status: Your TMI for the day: I puked so hard this morning I broke
blood vessels in my head and face. I look like I have the measles: /
True Story.
It didn’t go away for five days. And it
happened two more times, but not nearly as severe as the first time,
because I learned to close my eyes and shut them tight.
It could be worse, from what I have read, so I have
been relatively lucky. Except for the whole hearing, “Oh, I never had any
problems like that when I was pregnant, the things they come up with nowadays.”
from various people.
To give you some perspective, as I write this blog I
am in Week 15 and I still puke, but it’s only twice a week, as opposed to what
seemed like every other day. That is good in a way, but still puking is still
puking in my book. In fact, my husband offered this advice about it recently
after I had said I would rather have any other symptom, ANY, other than puking.
Steve: “Well, you really mean that, right? I mean,
maybe you should be more specific, or make a list in order of preference.”
Kelly: “You mean a numbered list? Like I would
rather #2: Have a skin rash over #5: Have the trots and all of that would be preferred
over praying to the porcelain god every morning?”
Steve: trying not to chuckle and failing “Yeah,
that would work, I guess.”
So one day I had finally had enough and had casually
said, “I would rather have the trots than puke. Seriously.”
And then it happened. No joke. Guess being more
specific does help. But I didn’t like that, either, so I went back to being
okay with the occasional pukefest.
Then a doctor’s visit confirmed I had lost weight.
Do not panic, it is normal from what I was told. It’s still troubling, though,
because you need to stay hydrated, you worry that the baby isn’t getting enough
nutrition and all that AND I thought my clothes were not fitting properly
before…HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA that’s a WHOLE other blog.
And guess what ended up saving me, of all things?
That’s right, Ginger Ale. I drank it like it was water the first week I
discovered it’s amazing healing properties, which consisted of making me feel
like I wasn’t going to puke for a couple
of hours
*Insert choir of angels singing here please*
Since then I have eased up on it, but I still drink
it at least every other day.
Suck on that, saltines!
And now, a conversation with a friend around Week 11
or so via text message:
Amy: How are you feeling this morning?
Me: Like shit, I threw up this morning and then this
happened:
Me: Our cat puked on my Overboard (comic) book and I
don’t know which one puked right in front of the kitchen. I assume Kitty (yes
that is her name) because it was chunky, Stevie (again, yes this is his name
and no he’s not named after my husband, it was his shelter name otherwise yes I
agree that would be a bit on the creepy side) only pukes liquid from what I
have seen so far. Super gross, not even hungry right now.
Me: After I puked in the bathroom I came out and it
was like puke central. Gah.
Me: Maybe it was sympathy puke? I doubt it, I give
cats way too much credit. I would have gotten a dog, but they fart and are dumb.
Amy: And cats don’t fart?
Me: Also, I can’t seem to get through the sentence
about dogs farting and being dumb without laughing uncontrollably. I guess
my five year old sense of humor hormones have kicked in, maybe I am having a
boy after all lol
Me: I have never heard or smelled my cat fart,
seriously.
Me: To be sure, cats are dumb, too. I know
because I live with 3 of them now. All dumber than a bag of rocks.
Okay, so the conversation deviated a little bit, but
come on. Living with 3 cats can drive you crazy. And you seem to lose maturity
or brain cells. Or both. Whatever.
Later
on in the conversation:
Me: I should be done with this bullshit puking
already, right? I mean it’s just yellow bile coming up and that shit sucks!
Me: So, to answer your question, a little bitchy and
sick today lol
Amy: 3 or 4 months
Me: Fuck. I am 11 weeks. So possibly another month
of this bullshit puking? Fuck me.
Amy: I know, sucks.
Yes, it does. I can see the light at the end of the
tunnel, though, so that is good.
And I also had some Photoshop and Mii fun during all
of this, too. I guess it was my way of having a sense of humor about it.
My husband and I have made several versions of
ourselves in the Mii Plaza on our Wii. There’s regular Kelly and Steve, Grandma
Kelly and Grandpa Steve (us a little wider and with gray hair basically),
Pancake Lovin’ Steve (which is what Steve would look like fat, if you can even
imagine that…*sarcasm*).
So then I decided to make a Preggers Kelly:
And just so you have prespective as
to what I normally look like in the Mii Plaza, I will place them side by side (well, I would if this stupid formatting would let me, so one on top of the other will have to do, you can scroll to compare):
You don’t even want to see the picture that has my
original Mii, the Preggers Kelly Mii and then my regular husband’s Mii all
lined up next to each other.
It almost made me puke.
I got new glasses recently, so the Preggers Kelly
reflects that, along with the whole feeling like a small whale look. I picked
lime green because it reminded me of puke honestly and the face, well; it’s
perfect, isn’t it?
That right there, about sums up my experience with “morning”
sickness.
That and this sticker, which I got the idea for from
this awesome comic:
which of course is courtesy of Bill Waterson's Calvin and Hobbes comic, not my property blah blah blah and all that crapola.
If my morning sickness was a test, it would
definitely earn this sticker, and then some:
Okay, so this I made myself, but it's still his images. You get the gist, I hope. I couldn't find a barfing face sticker, so I made one for fun okay?
*Pause*
